Redneck Hillbilly Search

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Crying to Get Out

The other day I saw a facebook friend had liked the following statement. I of course LOL'd at it and liked it also...

"Inside me is a skinny woman crying to get out... but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies!"

That was just too good to pass up, so I made a t-shirt with a tamed down version and chose a suitable not-stick-thin model to put it on. Since the majority of the Zazzle models are super beautiful and about a size ZERO it would be hard to imagine them even eating a bite of a cookie much less stuffing their pretty little faces with them to shut up the nagging whiner inner skinny.




of course, it's been done before. However, from the examples showing up on the recommended items they are all just regular centered text typed on the front of a shirt with no thought to formatting. Who knows, maybe mine will slowly move through the masses and get a spot in the first couple of pages.

Then I made a version for the men. It's not just us women afterall with bulging midsections - the menfolk have some issues too, and they tend to carry it all in the belly. Oh sure, they can try to hide it with a big old shiny belt buckle but they ain't foolin' nobody. We all know they've been shutting up their inner skinny with a whole lotta sumpthin'!




Then I figured hmmm what else can I do with this while I am sitting here? How about something for those people who are their inner child, and have a responsible adult way down deep inside? I figured this would be great for college and dorm life, or the 40 yr old who's still at the local honkey tonk sippin whiskey until the wee hours of a work day (or downing a few beers as the T-shirt implies!)




 I just have to come up with a female version of it. ... but what would make the responsible adult woman inside stop crying? Drinks? Shopping? CREDIT!? Shoes? Dancing?

Friday, August 27, 2010

Zazzle card from Country Corner: Air your Dirty Laundry

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Zazzle card from Country Corner: Air your Dirty Laundry

Need to air your dirty laundry? Now you can with this cute greeting card! Just enter your own customized message.

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Zazzle profilecard from Country Corner: Antique Trunk of Treasures

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Zazzle profilecard from Country Corner: Antique Trunk of Treasures

Antiques and Vintage Goods ... or just old junk? You tell me! Customizeable old trunk biz card.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Bubba


Many Rednecks, Hicks, and Hillbillies acquire the nickname of BUBBA sooner or later. Mr. RedneckHillbillies has had the title for years now, and calls others by the name frequently. I, in fact, have even been called Bub on occasion, even though it is more suited to men.

I figured since it's a label, might as well make one! Not just any label though, it had to have that authentic redneck bubba kind of look.

Stained, crumpled, and ripped. That's pretty redneck and very Bubba. What else....

Duct Tape! Of course. Rednecks and Bubbas use this stuff for darned near everythin'. A little ducttape here, a wad of ducttape there, slap it on and smooth it out and Voila! That oughtta fix er up good.

Put Duct Tape together with stained, ripped and crumpled paper, and Bubba and you end up with something like this!

Friday, August 20, 2010

How to Look Like a Redneck

I bet this is something you've always wondered about. Hmmmm, how to look like a redneck....  let me tell you how it`s done!`I`ll give you the top ten ways to get the famous Redneck Look. Or the top 10 ways to spot a redneck.


First of all, you need to start off with the basics, before we even think about getting dressed.


Number 1:  The MULLET. If you don`t know what a mullet is, take a look at some family photos from the late 70``s, through the 80`s. The nifty Business in the front and party in the back look that everyone thought was so very cool back in the day. Most rednecks still wear this style, especially the men folk. Dab a little cheap cologne anywhere it`ll go, around the neck area being careful not to get too much on the mullet.  Women can modify the hairstyle a little by  teasing the bajeepers out of the bangs. Lots of hairspray, and I mean lots. You should only be able to smell the cheap perfume barely over the hairspray fumes.


Note: Facial hair is optional, and not recommended if you`re attempting to look like a redneck woman. You will be enough of a fire hazard as it is with all that hairspray. In fact, try chewing tobacco instead of that cigarette to reduce the risks.  


An example of a mullet, to celebrate  all things mullet is shown here for your viewing pleasure.








Number 2: Bad Teeth. Not all rednecks have bad teeth, but you can pick yourself up a set of falsies at a good halloween store. As long as the two front teeth are either crooked, really big horse teeth, or have a big enough gap to stick a chiclet through you`re set.




Number 3: A redneck trucker style hat. You can get one Right Here


Next up, a white tank top with some kind of proud redneck saying on it. Coffee and beer stains make it extra special. This one will do  nicely as an example








Number 4: Redneck Shoes. Not just any shoes, either. Shoes that SCREAM redneck. Like these!








Number 5: Dressin`up. If you`re going out somewhere SPESHUL like the flea market or a chicken bbq at your uncle daddy`s trailer, you can always throw on somethin real nice like this beauty of a tie. You probably ain`t got no fancy jacket, so everyone can see the fancy flag design on the bottom there.




Redneck Rebel Confederate Flag Tie tie
Redneck Rebel Confederate Flag Tie by RedneckHillbillies
See other neckties available on zazzle.com




Number 6: You probably don`t own anything like a tie clip either, (what the heck is that) so if you want to hold that tie in place you could always use a pin or a button badge like this








or if you don`t want to put holes through your fancy redneck tie, you could always slap on a bunch of stickers instead to hold it against your coffee or beer stained tank top. These will do the job real good. They`re even matchy matchy if you care about that kinda stuff.









Number 7: Grab a Beer! Rednecks really like beer. Especially extra super strong, extra super cheap beer. That way they get to drink MORE of it. In a pinch, homemade hooch wine or moonshine will work too. Here`s a nifty beer mug will all the favorite redneck pasttimes written all over it. So even if you`re NOT shuckin corn or chasin skirts you can sorta kinda feel like ya are while yer sippin away on your bevvy.










Number 8: You`re not supposed to know how to use them fangdangled compooters, but if you do, you should at least have some obnoxious confederate rebel redneck flag mousepad nearby.








Number 9: Always have at least three or four mixed breed mutts hangin around. Barking excessively, sleepin out under the couch that ya`ll put outside on the front porch for summer, or digging crater sized holes out front of that ramshackle trailer trash motorhome you call paradise. If any of those dogs will put up with wearing a doggie tee, then at least make it a badass redneck rebel tshirt! 











and lastly, number 10: If you`re lucky enough to have a pickup truck that runs now and then, preferably with big cattle horns mounted on the front grille - then you definately need one of these. Several different kinds of bumper stickers all spoutin`to them awesome redneck folks and those damn yankees that you are a bonafide redneck, and super dee dooper proud to be a redneck!







Zazzle bumpersticker from Redneck Hillbillies: REDNECK Rebel Confedera...

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Zazzle bumpersticker from Redneck Hillbillies: REDNECK Rebel Confedera...

REDNECK! There ain't no need to say nuttin' else!

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Zazzle mousepad from Redneck Hillbillies: Redneck Loud and Proud Mouse...

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Zazzle mousepad from Redneck Hillbillies: Redneck Loud and Proud Mouse...

Redneck LOUD and Redneck PROUD! (is there any other kind of redneck?!)

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Poster Sale!

Today is the last day of the Back to School 40% off Posters Sale  at my favorite place, Zazzle.
If you haven't taken a look at the amazing range of posters yet, what on earth are you waiting for?

I just ordered one for myself, in the large size of 34" x 21". I will have the oh-so-handy Mr. Redneck Hillbillies whip up a custom sized wood frame for it, probably similar to the one shown and proudly hang it over my fireplace.




I really like this photo because it speaks to me of times long, long LONG before I was here, and of simpler days out in the country. It may be a little on the dark side, but I'm sure I'll be happy with it if Zazzle's printing is really as high quality and professional as everyone says it is. I can't wait! WOOT!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Lovin' my new Zazzlit App

In the last 10 minutes I have enjoyed a cool, refreshing beverage (aaaah) and set up an incredibly neat little application created by a fellow Zazzler HightonRidley  who is not only some kind of programming wizard, but is also an incredibly talented photographer that puts  my best photography to shame. Click the link on his name and peruse his work. You'll be glad you did.

Here's one of my favorites from his amazing collection



My hat is off to you, dear. I have it up and running flawlessly in well under the time it has taken me to set up similar but inferior gadgets, and if I may say so myself,  it looks GOOD.

Check it out on the left side over there

<<<---------------   Redneck Merch!

Wanna know how to do it yourself? Well, first you have to have an account at Zazzle. I don't  think you even have to be a storekeeper, you just need that nifty little referral id to put in there, and a set of chosen keywords to filter the items that show up. Then you need to visit his Zazzlit Tutorial page to see how easy peasy it is.

Zazzle postcard from Country Corner: I miss you! Sad Baby Chick

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Zazzle postcard from Country Corner: I miss you! Sad Baby Chick

This adorable little yellow chick looks sad, with its dainty little beak turned down in a frown! Let loved ones know you miss them while on holidays with this irresistably cute bab

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Zazzle postcard from Redneck Hillbillies: Just One More Cast!

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Zazzle postcard from Redneck Hillbillies: Just One More Cast!

Sockeye Salmon Season! The fishery is open to sportfishing so we're out every few evenings trying to catch our limit! Some days it takes longer than others, as you can see by the f

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Back To School Poster Sale!

Zazzle has an amazing promotion on right now where you can save FORTY PERCENT on posters for your dorm room. (or your recroom, or your bedroom, your hallway, or your living area....)

Wow that's a screeeeammin deal.  Check it out here http://www.zazzle.com/rulesofbts?rf=238290119952047946&CMPN=zBookmarklet

I spent all morning making up some posters for the sale and although they aren't showing up in the marketplace yet I hope they are listed in time to take advantage of the added traffic before the sale ends!

Here are a few of my favorites, created from my photography.  I might even grab a couple of them!



or this one instead maybe? Maybe both of them! I really loved these two old vehicles when I saw them, and snapped dozens of photos.




My daughter took this photo in black and white of a beautiful old antique car on display at a car show. I made a poster of the full car, and then cropped it to just show the front grille. I think I like the one with just the vehicle's front end better!




I'm not just all about old junk - sometimes I take the odd nature or landscape photo too! Here's one of a trail that makes for a very  nice walk. Can you smell the fresh air and hear the ground crunch beneath your feet?




I think the vignette effect and the slightly out of focus blur caused by the horse's movement made this one seem almost magical. What do you think?





Walk With Me in the Garden print
Walk With Me in the Garden by CountryCorner
View all the other artwork at zazzle

Monday, August 16, 2010

Here Fishy Fishy

The sockeye salmon are coming through, and the sportfishery is open! The daily limit for a ticketed and liscensed fisherman is 2, and Mr. Redneck Hillbillies has been going every couple days to see what rich and tasty meat he can bring home for the freezer. Some days we end up with an empty bag, some days one, and twice he's gotten two.

Heading over after work leaves only a couple hours before sundown, and I go along to keep him company and snap photos since I don't have the required licenses to fish. I'm not much of a fisher anyways, and we lose enough betty bouncers and hooks to the river gods with just one of us slinging a hook.

Here are two photos I took the other night as the sun dipped below the mountains.





Friday, August 13, 2010

Zazzle shirt from Redneck Hillbillies: Redneck Flag Banner Sign

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Zazzle shirt from Redneck Hillbillies: Redneck Flag Banner Sign

RedneckVille! Do you live in this town? We sure do! Rebel confederate flag design with a banner that spells out Redneckville in the center. Text can be customized to say whate

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Zazzle card from Redneck Hillbillies: Ha! Ha! Funny Laughing Dog

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Zazzle card from Redneck Hillbillies: Ha! Ha! Funny Laughing Dog

Laughing Australian Shepherd Dog. She's not laughing AT you... she's laughing WITH you! Customize with your own text.

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